Trusting yourself and others

Trust is the first step in building a relationship, either with yourself or with someone else. That is where it all starts. As simple as it sounds, it can really stand in the way of establishing a good relationship. It starts with awareness. How do you talk to yourself? Is it in a way that is building trust or strength or confidence, or maybe not? Being hard on ourselves is our common denominator, we practically all do it. If your inner critic just does not shut up 😊, and you listen to it too much, remember to be more kind to yourself, and others. It’s important for establishing strong and deep connections with family, friends and colleagues. It will bring you so much more joy, confidence, and kindness in return. Starting with trusting yourself will make it easier for you to start trusting others. Living a life that is consistent with your values will make you trust yourself more and feel more confident in being you. It is always a good idea to check in with yourself by being clear about your values and aligning your behavior with them. Although values can always change and maybe adjusted, it is of great importance to guide yourself and stay close to your true self.

Building self-trust. Self-trust can be increased by acknowledging yourself more...don’t be so hard on yourself all the time! When you listen to (and believe) your inner critic too much, you make it difficult to build self-worth. Try and turn those thoughts around into friendly and motivating words that will help you move forward, not bring you down. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to your inner critic. You will never be as hard on a friend, as you can be on yourself. Talk to yourself like you would to a friend. Acknowledge yourself more-you are doing a great job! Write down 3 things at night that you are proud of, even the smallest things will help you appreciate yourself more. This also works well in teams or other groups: give each other some credit, share a high-five moment, make a specific compliment to a colleague or friend, and watch the magic happen. People will start opening more, they will give you and other people compliments too. Before you know it, you will realize that you’ve started this complete positive upward spiral, and you’ll see how you are paying it forward!

Stepping out of your comfort zone Trust can also be built by letting go of fear, stepping over the edge, and doing something you’ve always wanted to do. Stepping out of your comfort zone will help you grow and trust yourself so much more in a short period of time. It can be something as simple as: stepping up and speaking your mind in a meeting, writing your first blog / article, calling that long lost friend and inviting her/him over for coffee, or going on that solo trip (all by yourself!). There are so many options, as long as it makes you feel uncomfortable 😊. You will feel awkward, that is the whole point! The beauty of it is that because of that feeling, you know you are pushing your limits. You’ll be soooooo happy and proud once you’ve done it... you’ll feel ON TOP OF THE WORLD! It doesn't even matter what the result is, let that part go, what matters is that you DID IT. Be proud of that, own it and enjoy the process!

Letting go. Trust can also grow by letting go of something (or someone). It can be difficult to say goodbye because you don’t trust that you’ll be okay without it (or them). Sometimes it feels like you may not even survive ;-)... By practicing releasing relationships, habits, or things that no longer serve you, it becomes easier to trust that you will be okay in the end. WOW, you might even be better off! You will probably remember a time or 2 in your life, when you had to let go of something that was difficult for you, and you ended up being way better off, right?! It all starts with awareness. Now that you are aware of how difficult it is to build trust in yourself, it might help you to support other people to build their self-trust. Give them a lot of compliments, acknowledge them, show some love, kindness, and compassion. It will go a long way, and it might surprise you what you’ll get in return!



Written By
Moniek in den Bosch

Moniek in den Bosch

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